Maaaaaaaan...
It’s Fall!
Summer is over. Good.
I am not a fan of the summer months. My theory is that in the summer, you can be newborn naked and still hot.
AC on. STILL hot.
In the winter, you can be cold. Throw on another sweater. BAM! Warmth.
Or date big women like I do.
The end of this month is my least favorite "holiday": Halloween.
The reason it’s in quotes? As per that great philosopher…
Well… ME…
If your job ain't closed, it ain't a holiday.
I hate beg for crap day. 364 days out of the year, these little kids don't say anything to you. But when the time to knock on your door and ask for candy comes, these kids act like they helped old people across the street and carried old ladies’ groceries across a crowded boulevard while carrying said old lady on their back.
The good thing about Halloween?
Costumes!
Last year, I was Angry Man With A Beard.
This year?
Angrier Man With A Longer Beard.
I'm writing this on the Red Line to Shady Grove in Maryland.
* Shout out to my DMV folk out there!
And before I got on the bus, I saw a couple of women carrying pink balloons, screaming, "Be aware! Breast cancer awareness!"
They had everyone very well aware.
‘Cause they were topless.
Yes.
Sans top.
Sans brassier.
This article finishes itself.
Support Breast Cancer Awareness.
I do.
...Victor Torres
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