Soule Restaurant: From the Mind of ILL

Happy holidays, readers of the Mind of ILL.

I have always hated the Christmas season. I'm a Scrooge. And a Grinch. A Scrinch, if you will.

December first is when kids start behaving, believing that these three weeks will erase everything prior; that you’ll forget all about the 62 they got on that science test.

And they come up with Christmas lists that are longer than the reasons why I should not be allowed to write.

Reason #641: I believe if you make up a word up and someone understands the meaning, it’s a word. (i.e. “Betterer,” which means better than better.)

My daughter emailed me (yes... emailed me) a Christmas list with 26 things on it.

She's gonna get them cause she's been good all year.

But... Who will help me with my list? Ladies & Gentlemen... And Low-Lifes... My Christmas Wish List For 2009:

1) I want all reality shows on TV to go away. Please. I should not know that Jon & Kate have 8 and are getting divorced.

2) I would like President Barrack Hussein Obama to share his Nobel Peace Prize with the Smuckers Corporation. Why? Goober Grape. It’s Peanut Butter. And Jelly. In ONE JAR!!! One Jar!!!

3) Between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, ALL jobs should have 4 day work weeks. Including mass transit. Except liquor stores. And Soulé. (Workin' on that free meal.)

4) I want a PS3. Paypal me and I'll video tape my purchasing said game system.
Happy Holidays!

Follow me on Twitter @ILLWayneGacey.