Number ten: Quit smoking.
But then I’ll have to be like the nonsmokers in the office with no breaks!
Number nine: Get a better job.
Actually… maybe I should just focus on getting A JOB.
Number eight: Go back to school.
Wait… tuition is HOW MUCH?
Number seven: Spend more time with family.
Yes… even the cousin with the gastrointestinal disorder…
Number six: Start going to church every Sunday.
Do they have intermission?
Number five: Get out of debt.
First… get a job.
Number four: Start going out more often, living life.
See number five.
Number three: Start traveling more often.
See number five.
Number two: Find a soul mate.
…I’ll start at Soulé.
Number one: Lose the belly bulge.
My diet starts NOW. Right after I finish this burger with fries…
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